Two girls were arguing with each other when their instructor entered the room. The instructor asked them that why are they arguing?
To which they replied, “We found a one dollar bill and decided that the person who comes up with the biggest lie would get it.
The instructor said, “You guys should be ashamed of yourself, I never lied when I was of your age”.
The girls gave the one-dollar note to their instructor.

Doctor to the patient, “I’m sorry you have only 10 to live your life to the fullest”.
Patient, “10 What? Months or Weeks or Years”.
Doctor, “NINEEEE”.

A patient visits his dentist.
Dentist checks the patient’s condition and states, “You need a crown”.
Patient, “Finally I found someone who understands me”.

My friend thought he is smart and therefore stated that only onions can make you cry. So in order to test the reliability of his findings I threw a coconut on his face.

Boy: I have iron deficiency in my body
Girl: How do you know?
Boy: I checked with a magnet and it was not sticking to me.

Wife to her husband: I want to relax today as much as I can so I brought three movie tickets.
Husband: Three Tickets? But Why?
Wife: One for you and two for your parents.

Sardar went to a shopkeeper and started yelling that You cheated Me
Shopkeeper: No Sardar jee, I sold you a good radio with high definition speakers.
Sardar: Liar the label on the radio states ‘Made in Japan’ but the radio says that this is “All India Radio”.

James: What is the name of your car madam?
Lucy: I don’t know but I think it starts with T.
James: OOHHH what a strange car. All other cars start with petrol.

Sardar joined a company for a new job. He worked till late the very first day. The next day, the boss asked that what was he doing till late night?
Sardar replied: the alphabets on the keyboard were not in place so I organized them.

My boss texted me, “Send me your collection of funny jokes”.
I replied, “I’m working right now, do not disturb me. I will definitely send you later”.
Boss: That joke was fantastic! Send me another one.

Son: Mom when I was travelling with dad in the morning on a bus, he asked me to give my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing, as that is what gentlemen do.
Son: But mom, I was sitting on daddy’s lap. The seat next to him was empty.

An old man had 9 hairs on his head. He went to the barber and asked him to cut his hair. The barber got confused and asked him that do you want me to cut it or count it?
The old man said: No Color it!

Lady: Is this my train?
Stationmaster: No ma’am I’m sorry to say but it belongs to the railway Company.
Lady: Don’t try to be funny with me. What I meant is that can I take this train to New York?
Station Master: No ma’am, I’m afraid its too heavy and cannot be carried off easily.

Customer: Waiter Waiter there’s a beetle in my soup!!!
Waiter: Yes Sir, they drowned as they are not very good swimmers.